


Crowley is a very bad demon who does terrible things. Like take care of a bunch of orphans.

by Kaz3313



Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: One Shot, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-19 03:10:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19348309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaz3313/pseuds/Kaz3313
Summary: You can't kill kids-Crowley is thwarting the divine plan by saving as many kids as he can.





	Crowley is a very bad demon who does terrible things. Like take care of a bunch of orphans.

"Misstah Crowley are we there yet?" One of the children tugs at the demons clothes. 

 

"I already told you; were not going anywhere. Were waiting for the storm to pass," he gently pushes the child away but he comes back to his side.

 

"When is the storm gonna pass then? Can it be now?" 

 

"I don't know kid, now butt off before you're tossed into the sea," Crowley growls. At first a face of horror passes over the kid but it quickly leaves as another child pipes up.

 

"He won't throw you overboard, Asher, nothing to worry about," She's older than the other but no more than 14.

 

"I can-" Crowley begins but stops hearing one of the many infants start crying.It took him two hours to rock them all to sleep. "Oh look what you did. Now they all will wake up,". He is right as babies wake up one after another crying in confusion or empathy, as it is rather hard to tell which is which at such a young age, and Crowley desperately tries to calm down each while simultaneously answering the older children's questions. 

 

"So whose ship is this?" A girl in rags asks, he'll have to have Aziraphale miracle her some better clothes later.

 

"Noah's Ark" he whispers rocking two wailing infants, twins actually.

 

"Is he a friend of yours?" A boy who looks as well off as she did pipes up.

 

"Ehhh, I met him once or twice," the meetings Crowley is referring too is when he passed the man by while tempting other people to acts of evil in his town.

 

"Is they're another ark?" The girl asks. A group of children has formed around some of them helping with the babies or toddlers but others just to listen to what he has to say. Odd to say the least; Crowly has definitely spoke to groups of people at a time, and many listened with such interest, but not often answer earnest questions. Much less earnest questions he's answering truthfully.

 

"No, no other ark," the one twin started fussing again. "Shut up," he says to the baby but instead of a harsh tone his voice is sing songish.

 

"Then where are all the parents at?" 

 

"Alright enough questions, I didn't bring you on here to annoy me," Crowley hisses and more of the little ones wake up crying. Great, more to deal with.

 

"I'm bored," 

 

"I'm hungry,"

 

"Alright! Alright! Go-" He looks around. He could always have them mess with the animals but they could get eaten by a lion as well as get caught by Noah. No, keeping them down here is a necessity but he couldn't constantly entertain them. Then Aziraphale catches his eye. He's in the corner reading various books and scrolls he brought with him on the arch. How he could bring those instead of children Crowley will never understand (and quite frankly even though he wished to confront him about it he also didn't want to hear about the 'ineffable' or have him get fussier than the babies and run away for a century). "You see Aziraphale- Yeah, go bother him. He'll read you stories," Many of the children rushed toward the unsuspecting angel and the ones who remained Crowley could manage.

 

"Cr-crowley?" It is late at night, despite not needing to sleep both demon and angel are exhausted, and he doesn't expect one of the children to wake so soon. Of course he doesn't really know what to expect with kids.

 

"Yes," Crowley responds.Being a demon, he can see in the dark and her expression of fear is clear. "What are you doing up? It's bad enough I have to feed those little things every hour do I have to do that with you?" At that she gives a small smile.

 

"No, nothing like that. I just had a scary dream is all,"

 

"Ah, those happen," Crowley has put nightmares in many a mind before, mostly to sway them, but never in a child's.

 

"It was about the ark flooding cause there were too many people. It sunk to the bottom of the sea and the fish ate everyone's bones," she states her eyes wide as she recalls the fake memory.

 

"Morbid," Crowley replies biting his lip not sure how to comfort the child. "Ark is really sturdy though. The instructions to build this thing came straight from God so if it sinks that's on heavens hands,".

 

"It sank cause we're not supposed to be on here. We aren't are we?" Her voice cracks and tears start to roll down her cheeks.

 

"Now don't- come on sit here," he taps the place beside him and she follows his instructions. "Everything is uh, complicated to say the least. Whether you're supposed to be here or not depends on which side your looking on it from. But one thing, and the most important thing, is I wouldn't bring you on here for nothing. Like do you think I want to babysit for who knows how long while the storm of the century is outside if I didn't think it was necessary?" 

 

"N-no, " she gives another shy smile and wipes her tears with the back of her hand. "I guess not,"

 

"Exactly, your obviously a smart kid. If I wasn't absolutely positive this stupid boat was going to hold I wouldn't have even tried," he says and she wraps her arms around in a hug. He pats her back not sure how else to respond.

 

"Thank you Mr. Crowley, that'll make my nightmares go away for sure! You're a saint!" She says chipperly and before he can correct her she skips off to bed.

 

"You're so very evil Crowley. What an evil deed reassuring a child," Azriphale says with a grin of his own. 

 

"And how long have you been here? I thought you were taking to Noah and his "holy" family. Never mind, bug off angel. I'm always evil and saving these brats is against the divine plan so its evil," he reasons and the other just shakes his head reading yet again.

 

Feeding the kids is Crowley's least favorite parts (he had to do it at least three times! Not even Aziraphale ate that much) of the day. They were all whiny like usual only this time is 10 million times worse since they whined about not having enough food despite Crowley giving them as much as they could possibly need.

 

"She got more then me!" One kid yells pointing at a teen girl.

 

"Do you want more?" Crowley asks grabbing a piece of bread to give to him.

 

"Well, no but it's not fair!"

 

"Life isn't fair and actually this is a very small part of your life that will be fair so deal with it," Crowley snaps and the kid begins to cry. "Damn- Aziraphale!" He calls but sees the angel with his hands full as well as a toddler climbing him. He wouldn't be able to comfort the kid for a while.

 

"Kid, kid, listen. This is ridiculous. Just stop crying, you're fine. You're well fed and you aren't hurt and-"  Crowley leans down but the kid continues to wail.

 

"I need to pee," A little girl says in his ear.

 

"Good to know," Crowley responds.

 

"I need to go now!" She yells and Crowley tilts his head away from her.

 

"Then go; you don't need my expertise you've done it plenty of times before," she whines again, kicks his shin, and walks away.

 

"Timothy is hungry," a teen hands him a baby while she calms down the still crying child.

 

"Does, Tim Tim need food? Hmmm, little pile of squishy flesh is hungry," Crowley asks reaching for the bottle of never ending milk. The baby coos in response then hastily drinks the milk most of it going down his chin. "What a messy Tim Tim," he states as the baby sucks the milk down as if it's the last he'll ever have. He takes out a handkerchief cleaning up the giddy baby. "Out of everyone you've got to be the happiest baby. Did you know that? Did you know that, Tim Tim," At saying this Crowley heard a voice call his name and he looks up. Azriphale just mouths the words 'what a demonic demon Crowley is'.

 

"I'm the scariest demon in hell," Crowley tells the kids and most of them laugh excitedly. 

 

"R-roar then! If your a demon roar like one!" A kid calls out.

 

"Roar? I'm a demon not a lion! I don't roar," he states.

 

"How do we know your a demon then? I think your just a weird kind man!" Another kid states.

 

"A man couldn't all bring us on an ark with plenty of food and drink. Nobody is that kind" A kid scolds the other  " Mr. Crowley is just an embarrassed angel,"

 

"I'm not an angel!" But many kids already are murmuring in agreement of the severely misinformed kid. The actual angle in the room gives a small chuckle "I can turn into a snake; the one that tempted Adam and Eve!" Crowley states.

 

"Do it then! Snake! Snake!" The kids begin chanting the word. Crowley sighs closing his eyes and starts to form into the cold blooded creature.

 

"H-he a snake!" Most kids laugh in glee only a few run to Azriphale in fear. Crowley can hear a kid concerned that "Mr. Crowley got eaten by a snake". The angel is sure to reassure that Mr. Crowley did not get eaten by a snake instead he can turn into a snake. The younger ones don't exactly understand the concept and are happy to see Crowley in his usual form again.

 

"Only saving kids and teens huh? What about those who were on the edge of things?" An older teen guy asks while the kids eat there bread and listen to one of the other teen's stories. Besides Azriphale the charismatic storyteller has been the most help especially since in the past she had to take care of ten kids. She definitely is the most experienced.

 

"Not sure what you mean on the edge," Crowley replies sipping a bit of his wine.

 

"The day the storm came in, the same day you found me at the market, was my sister's 18 birthday," he states. Crowley doesn't say a word feeling the air thick with tension. "We were twins but my birthday was the next day...she wasn't brought here, was she?"

 

"...no," The teen, or rather the adult (though he still looked like a boy of maybe 16 at the most) stands up.

 

"Everyone is gone? My family, friends, mentors? My house, destroyed?" He asks but doesn't expect an answer. Instead he walks away, starting to go up to the deck.

 

"Aziraphale, one of the humans left," Crowley walks over saying in a hushed voice.

 

"Left?" Aziraphale questions.

 

"He went into the storm; seems really upset. Just check on him to make sure he doesn't get caught. I have babies to feed in a little bit so I'm asking you. And… I think you might be able to convince him to come down here," Crowley explains.

 

"Well alright but you owe me a lunch for this," Crowley rolls his eyes but nods agreeing to the favor.

 

Azriphale found the man getting pelted by rain while he stood on the edge of the ship. He didn't turn around yet he spoke at hearing the angel's footsteps. 

"The world from end to end is empty and void of life. Completely wiped out except for this ship here. This ship that has a family, animals, and then about a hundred stow-away children," He says his voice monotone. Azriphale doesn't explain that many places were spared; it doesn't feel right to correct the distraught human."Do you know how many people were out there? I don't even know. But surely all those people didn't deserve death? They didn't deserve to be pushed into this raging sea and drowned when they're body tires of the condition. If God wants us dead couldn't we just be strikes down by a bolt of lightning? Why make us suffer?" 

 

"The plan of the almighty is ineffable; even to me," Azriphale says then adds "But, against many odds, you're alive! So let's go back inside before your clothes get wetter," the human lets out a sad chuckle.

 

"And after? Once this passes I have no one. I'm alone in this world...God wants me dead? Was that part of the plan?"

 

"Well, a little bit but somethimes plans go differently then expected especially with demonic intervention and-" Azriphale stops as he sees the human toss himself forward.

 

The angel's wings jut out and he swoops down to catch the spiraling human. It's an experience that sadly Azriphale has done many times. In total he's saved 1200 humans in the last century who've tried to end their life. Sometimes by spilling their poisonous drink or whispering encouraging words in their ears but only four in total has he caught. This man will most definitely be his fifth.

 

He reaches him grabbing on and pulling him upward. A moment later and the human would've plunged head first in the icy sea and if not killed by it  would at the very least got a concussion.

 

"Now, now, it is not your time," Azriphale has his arms around the other's chest and can feel him shivering from the winds whipping around them. He positions his wings to shield the fragile being from the strongest winds. 

 

"Apparently my time is past due; God wants me dead I'm just giving him his dues," He struggles in Azriphale's grasp but his grip doesn't loosen.

 

"Don't talk like that, let's dry you off and-"

 

"My sister would take care of the neighborhood kids. She'd feed them, she  raised me and my brothers since she was ten. She taught us manners and we'd attended church every Sunday. We pray before every meal and even after. She stole from a man richer than a king with manners akin to a pig! That is her only crime and yet she's under many feet of unmerciful water dead to this cruel world! Was that fair? Should she have died, angel?"  He yells out struggling against the other. 

 

The man-no he really is just a boy- kicks with such force that Azriphale is forced to use a miracle. He falls asleep instantly no more shouting or protesting follows. He looks so peaceful sleeping, most humans do, and the angel frowns to himself. He'd awake just as agitated as before, perhaps even more, and could potentially try to commit suicide again. 

 

Azriphale clicks his tongue thinking of a way to stop this humans distress. He said something about a sister did he not well...another miracle is performed; this time erasing all memories of her. It definitely wasn't his best miracle but couldn't be called his worst either.

 

"I'm so sorry," Azriphale mumbles out but over the roaring sea no one can hear him. 

 

"You have wings? Does Mr. Crowley have some too?" A curious child asks touching Azriphale's feathers. A toddler to his right has decided the feathers are an excellent teething device and is trying to desperately get him off.

 

"Yes I do," Crowley says picking up the toddler presenting him a finger instead of the feathers he could choke on.

 

"Can we see?" Another asks walking over to him staring at his shoulders as if she could already see them.

 

"Maybe," He replies. "If you all are good for dinner and go to bed on time you can see them," Cheers follow Crowley's statement.

 

 The baby babbles at Crowely and since no one else is around he babbles back at her. She giggles continuing 'talking' to him.

 

"I hear you; pretty cramped place huh? But right now you have to go to sleep; can you go to sleep?" The baby happily replies with nonsense. She's the last baby awake but it quite a stubborn one.

 

"Go to sleep, little talker and maybe for once I'll get a break," he sings a tuneless soft lullaby. "And with my break, I'll get to bother, Azriphale! And he'll just read his books, or eat his food, and ignore me, because he is gooooood,".

 

The baby closes her eyes but Crowley continues his made up song "Go to sleep, little babe, and hope we'll get off this ship that's driving me insane," he finishes with a few la la's and the baby is fast asleep. 

 

"Papa?" A small toddler walks running into Crowley head on. He steps back before falling on his butt "Papa?" He asks again.

 

"Nope, not a Papa," Crowley says patting the confused child head. "Just a demon doing bad,"

 

"Papa!" He exclaims and Crowley sighs.

 

"Nope. Very disappointed you didn't get it the first time," 

 

"Papa!"

 

"Now this is a little excessive don't you think? How many times do I need to say no?" Crowley asks putting his hands on his hips. He might as well humor the toddler.

 

"Pa-pa! Papa! Papa!" He claps his hands.

 

"Can your Papa turn into a snake?" The boy nods. "Really? I doubt that. Can he strike fear into anything and everything?" Again he nods. "Is your dad a demon? If so I might know him,"

 

"Papa!" He claps again.

 

"Is your Papa's name Crowely?"

 

"Yes!" 

 

"I don't think so," but the child giggles in response.

 

"What a good parent you make Crowley," Azriphale states grinning (and dare Crowley say the smile is devilish?).

 

"Papa!" The toddler exclaims to Azriphale and he goes bright red.

 

"It seems the little one doesn't have a big vocabulary," 

 

"So that's what it is angel?" Crowley gives his own grin. He nods in response.

 

Six days pass before the rain stops and the sun comes out; and just as Azriphale says a rainbow appears promising to never flood the world again.

 

Crowley can be thankful for that. He isn't sure he can take care of hundreds of kids again. Though with all the hugs they give him he can't complain too much.


End file.
